creativity and meaning

oil and water

creativity is kind of urge and sort of a process. it’s an aspect of self.

meaning is something with larger context, a mixing of self and world.

in my life at least creativity and meaning haven’t got on too well. this is a problem. meaning, or purpose, is an external need, without which creativity is like a car with no steering wheel.

if i think about my photography, walking around with a camera thinking it’s interesting to photograph whatever looks interesting to me, and the ‘greats’ of photography who photographed war, poverty, inaccessible places or even moments of influence that occur in the real world, i do see a difference. and as time accelerates towards infinity, i find myself unable or unwilling to integrate meaning into my process.

oil and water don’t mix, but they can be made to with an emulsifier. that’s why you see soy lecithin in so many ingredient lists. It’s the little wiggly bit that joins the husk to the flesh of the bean. Where is my wigggly bit? Surely if i could give myself some direction i would have time left to do something interesting.

at the time of writing the above i actually did not know what the interface would be. but i’m tending to think it’s a project of some kind.

at this point it’s plainly hilarious to say that anything i do or will do will amount to anything, which is clearly evidenced. This could be hopeless, i’m sure it sounds hopeless. But it could also be liberating, and it should be. Frankly I need it to be.

I have always avoided the world, and by that i mean i have minimized interaction with other humans. The more ‘made it’ the person is the less i have sought their attention, preferring and feeling more comfortable with the more humble, if more flawed, large number of people not really achieving. it’s only logical that i am where i am. i dont expect change here, but perhaps i can compromise as i think about projects i could do. i do have a lot of respect for people who can make something out of nothing, and follow a dream (because i know how hard it is), so I can work with this too.

thank you for listening as i work this shit out. i feel like i am overdelivering on the brand promise of CREATIVE LOST SOUL. it was always meant to be about the process of being creative, which by necessity would be a bunch of inner-dialogue crap (only joking, inner dialogue is the best type of dialogue, and you get all of it).