Happy new year

I have resolutions. Resolutions get a bad wrap, I know, but I think they work well for some people. I’ve always struggled with what you might call executive function, and one cookie now is basically my motto. so it’s difficult for me to just make changes. I build up a long list of greviences about myself, do nothing about them, then at new years tell myself I will. Sometimes I can actually make changes. So this is what this is.

Last year I really wanted to discover a new side hustle. I still haven’t really, although the tshirt thing could definitely be given more effort. In truth I’ve been disappointed with my graphic design skills. Use it or lose it baby.

This year it’s all about headspace. Copy pasting from my notes app:

“Stop wishing for things that distract and waste time. Don’t obsess over anything consumerism or nostalgic. The past is gone.  Find out what matters for the future and spent time on that. Make them things that can build into something. Get momentum. Set intention. Live not for present any more, that doesn’t work. Live in the present, but create the future. Be more creative in the truest sene of the world: your self, your life and the world being your canvas.”

Spark

I also wrote about finding my spark again. I noticed that the spark of my past was at least partially founded in egoism. A lot of my motivation came from an inner sense of capability and talent. As the world has laughed in my face and my LACK of value confirmed, the spark has thus died. I want my spark back though… it just needs to be a new one with new foundations.

Meditation

I want to start meditation again. Be as cynical as you want about faith, but meditation has worked for me for years. I only do it before work now, to ensure I don’t crash and burn, but I want to start a daily practice this year and see where that takes me.

Devices with intention

I want to start using technology with intention. Devices rule my life, largely due to their promise of discovery and creativity. It seems to make sense to use a device whenever I can: a bicycle for the mind. In practice though, it’s distracting me, taking me out of myself and scattering my awareness in a million directions. I want to use the iPad more for computing because it has built in limitations around how many things you can do at one time. More importantly though, I don’t want to pick up or turn on a device without a specific intention: something I want to accomplish in the real world. This is a pretty massive change and I will need to find new things to do with passing seconds. I have no idea what they will be. I can probably start with micro meditation sessions if I don’t know what to do.

Creativity

Later last year I gave up music. I have tinkered since then, and still find it to be pretty much a waste of time. So I will commit to not even tinkering with music this year. It’s good because if I dont do that I have no need for a MacBook, and can save money there. Maybe I will learn some songs on the guitar and have some singalongs with Eiko.

I still want to finish my theory of dirty which you can find in the links on my website. It’s an essay that covers so much about creativity in the digital era. I could also touch on AI and how to integrate it into a creative workflow (to summarise, I only think it’s valuable in the ideation stage - we’re about to be bombarded with infinite realistic visuals of anything and realism will totally lose it’s effect and value, moving value back to the human and heartfelt, eg theme and story).

A friend wants to make a game and I’m really looking forward to helping with it, if nothing else as a way to activate different parts of my brain, which game dev is great for in ways nothing else is.

Walking + exercise

I want to get back in shape but I know I wont go to a gym or do anything strenuous. I want to take my best mate Jimmy out for more walks. Might even take the camera. They will have to be dusk walks though as I don’t like the sun (I actually like the sun but not being under it).

So that’s about it, happy new year, please drink less and consider your dietary choices. A reminder I haven’t eaten meat for 20+ years, it’s a very unnecessary cruelty to the world. But above all I hope the new year is the best one yet.